Time to end the HS football handshake lines

October 30, 2024 7:41 PM • Last updated: October 30, 2024 7:41 PM

Ledyard – Sportsmanship, the primary baseline of all sporting endeavors, must necessarily be sincere to be sportsmanlike. That is why I do not like to include this in the law.

Example: the handshake line at the end of the game. A handshake symbolizes good sportsmanship when both parties mean it, not the drive-through “good game, good game” mumbling we see today. And yet some children grow up hearing the legal act of the handshake, without really having any idea what it means. Other students know that a handshake has some value when two people make eye contact and have a meaningful conversation.

Now, however, a third party has entered the room, especially when it comes to high school football. Safety concerns are making coaches, athletic directors, school administrators and even law enforcement more conscientious than ever, making this a great opportunity to follow the example of Ledyard High School Assistant Principal/Athletic Director Jim Buonocore: no more handshake lines after the football match.

According to a script Buonocore sends to referees and the opposing school before home games: Ledyard coach Mike Serricchio walks to midfield to shake hands with the other head coach after the game. The players go to the gates, wave to the other team and then go their separate ways.

“Not many positives came out of the pandemic, but if something positive came out of it, we were able to evaluate the post-match interaction between the players,” Buonocore said. “When we returned to football (11 vs 11 in 2021), one of the adjustments that made us go from 7 to 7 (in 2020) was that the players do not communicate with each other after the match.

“Before the pandemic in 2018 and 2019, we had several incidents in football handshake lines. They are very difficult to research as there are fifty to sixty young people in midfield doing the ‘good game, good game’ thing at a rapid pace. Then something is said or done – a punch in the gut (or below the equator), an elbow throw – and they become problems that no one really wants to deal with.

Buonocore said all other Ledyard teams in other sports participate in handshake lines. Just no football.

“Football is different,” he says. “In other sports there aren’t 50 or 60 kids in full equipment, which isn’t always easy to identify. For me, this is a step towards a more collegial end to football matches.”

I understand that we are conditioned to think that failing to shake hands is unsportsmanlike, so we force the children into a perfunctory, empty act. It always strikes me as ironic. Sportsmanship is about content and humanity. Sportsmanship is an act. No words. And yet, post-game handshake rules teach the wrong lessons: As long as we execute the motions, we keep the adults happy. The adults feel vindicated – look what our kids say about sportsmanship! – and everyone goes home happy.

“Last Friday night (Ledyard lost 13-6 to Windham) was a great example of how this should work,” Buonocore said. “As Windham knelt and ran out the clock, the players on the field, who had been going toe-to-toe all game, reached across the line of scrimmage and shook hands. For me, that’s what sportsmanship is all about. They looked into each other’s eyes and it was meaningful compared to the atmosphere of a drive-through.”

In addition to the substantive act of sportsmanship, it also keeps the players at a distance from each other. Numerous skirmishes – and worse – have occurred in handshake lines with players in close proximity. It happened again last Friday night after the New Britain-Maloney game.

“I also make it clear that we will adhere to whatever a school wants to do while we are on the road,” Buonocore said. “I just want to make sure other schools are monitoring it appropriately. Look, players who want to communicate or see a friend from the other team still have that option. But I’ve been doing this for 27 years. There are a lot of things happening in the handshake line that are not good.

“As educators, one of our most important goals is to put children in a position where they can be successful, and not let them fail. Football is once a week. Hours and hours are put into it. It’s a physical, emotional game. Then boom, the light switch goes off and suddenly there’s the handshake line? That puts the children in a bad position. I agree that we need to learn about adversity and dealing with disappointment. But I’m not sure the handshake line is the best way to teach them that.”

That’s not it. And that’s why more administrators here should follow Buonocore’s lead. Again, it may be an old social custom that handshakes breed good sportsmanship. But only if they mean something. And in today’s society that has become more disconnected by the second, here is an opportunity to remove something hollow and legislated, while keeping everyone safe.

This is the opinion of Day Sports columnist Mike DiMauro