Jesus, three more Lego movies?

Jesus Christ, three more Lego movies? Yes, three additional films about the beloved Danish interlocking blocks are being developed at Universal. Presumably stemming from the endless enthusiasm surrounding animated Pharrell propaganda, Piece by pieceUniversal and Lego join forces for three films about the worst enemy of bare feet: Lego blocks. Oh, and to prove that the Dark Universe isn’t dead, the movies will be live-action.

The names associated with these projects range from the unsurprising to the depressing. First, Jake Kasdan will follow the almost certain success of Red with a Lego movie with four screenwriters attached. Per Hollywood reporter, D Train writers Andrew Mogel and Jarrad Paul will pick up where The pickup writers Matt Rider and Kevin Burrows quit. Previously, Kasdan made a biopic parody so effective that it ruined biopics.

After four years around Warner Bros. and Disney, Patty Jenkins finally has another project: a goddamn Lego movie she’s co-writing with Geoff Johns. Jenkins, who produced one of the Snyderverse’s few unambiguous hits, was rewarded for making one Wonder Woman sequel people didn’t like four years of development hell on a Star Wars movie that never happened. To be honest Wonder Woman 1984it was hard to enjoy anything in December 2020.

Finally, Joe Cornish, director of Attack the block and the underseen, utterly charming The child who would become kingwill rewrite Heather Anne Campbell and Simon Rich’s concept of another Lego movie. The names in this one are the most intriguing. Cornish always seems to get stuck in projects that don’t make it to the finish line, like Snow crash, Starlightand, perhaps most prominently, a sequel to his escape, Attack the block. Campbell and Rich are two of Hollywood’s best comedy writers, so if we had to put our money on either of these being worth it, this would be the one. Maybe we’ll get a new Joe Cornish movie for the first time in five years.

But even still, is this really where we are going? Live-action Lego movies? How many fish-out-of-water stories about a Lego man leaving the Lego world can a studio make? Now that superhero movies are no longer a safe bet, Universal wants to make Warner Animation’s mistake by producing more Lego movies than anyone could reasonably want. We haven’t learned anything from it Ninjago? None of it Playmobil: The movie? This is indeed a dark universe.