Dear Annie: It’s time to end this long-distance relationship

Dear Ania: I have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year and a half. While it’s been good for the most part, I feel it’s time to end it. We video chat twice a week and text maybe twice a day, but it’s not enough for me anymore. I brought this up early in our relationship, but she told me that was all the time she could dedicate to her. I understand that she has a demanding job that requires her attention four days a week, but even on her days off, she rarely texts me outside of our video chats. This wouldn’t be such a problem if our video calls lasted longer than two hours, but they don’t and I’m getting more and more frustrated.

I work too, but I wish we talked to each other more often or at least had a third video chat from time to time. What frustrates me the most is that even though we’ve been together for a year and a half, we still haven’t met in person. I told her from the beginning that if this relationship was to be real, we had to meet in a year or consider breaking up. She initially agreed, but when I brought it up again in January and February last year, it led to a big argument and she didn’t talk to me for a week. We made up and I promised not to bring it up again until she was ready to talk about it. I kept my word, but it’s frustrating that we’re now approaching two years together and she still hasn’t initiated a conversation about meeting up.

I feel like I’m spinning my wheels in this relationship. I don’t want to end this because I care about her so much and I wonder if I’m overreacting. However, recently the thought of separation has been appearing in my mind more and more often. She says she loves me and I believe her, but our relationship no longer makes me happy. I don’t want to continue dating someone I only see twice a week on an hour-long video call, or someone who has no plans to meet in person after almost two years.

When I asked her what kept her from dating, she never gave me a clear answer. I’m left to ask myself if I’m being unreasonable and if my feelings are justified. – Hating long distance relationships

Dear distance hater: Of course you hate the long distance nature of this relationship. Your feelings are fully justified. A relationship in which you can’t meet in person is not satisfying and you deserve more. It’s time to give it up and find someone who will truly be present in your life.

Send your questions to Annie Lane at [email protected].