The Colorado Springs therapist talks about how to have political discussions with family during the election

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (KKTV) – It’s no secret that tensions have been high during this year’s elections.

It’s a topic that divides even families as they discuss who they voted for in the 2024 presidential race. Topics of national politics have been divisive for some and even damaged long-standing relationships.

“This past election, and this election as well, I have become more estranged from my grandmother,” said Emma Smallwood, who recently sent in her ballot for the election.

She explained that her grandmother’s political beliefs were very different from hers and that it was difficult to have those discussions.

“We try to have conversations with her that are very one-sided, but she always brings it back to politics,” Smallwood said, “and we say, girl, we don’t care what you believe in, we don’t care. I agree, but we just want to talk to you, we love you.

She said the same thing is happening with her father, and she feels a change because of the direction some conversations are taking.

“It’s hard because I feel like politics has changed from opinions to morals,” she said.

It’s an increasingly common trend, according to Kristyn Duffy, a therapist at Ellie Mental Health. She said people are feeling anger and frustration and many political discussions have hit close to home for many people.

When faced with a difficult conversation with family or friends, she says it’s important to understand where they’re coming from when sharing their beliefs.

“I think sincerely trying to see someone else’s point of view will never hurt you. You don’t have to change your position,” Duffy said. “But if you come from a defensive position, someone else will likely come at you with a defensive position, and then the conversation will escalate.”

She said listening to understand is important, rather than trying to change someone’s beliefs outright. If that’s a conversation you want to have, she says the most important part of having that conversation is connecting where you can and trying to approach the topic with a willingness to understand the other person’s point of view.

But should that conversation become confrontational, Duffy said setting boundaries is incredibly important.

“I think everyone should have their own limits. “If there’s a reason why that relationship is so strained that it’s not helpful for either party to communicate about it, I can understand that,” Duffy said. “But I also think it will be helpful to set boundaries in the conversation, saying, you know what, I’m willing to talk about this, and here I’m not comfortable with it anymore.”

Every family and friend dynamic is different, which is why Duffy said knowing what can and cannot be discussed without an unhealthy level of confrontation is critical to keeping these relationships healthy when talking about politics.

And if there’s no way to have those conversations in a healthy and helpful way, Duffy said it’s okay to walk away and set those boundaries while having the difficult conversation about what you’re not comfortable with to talk about.

“So sometimes you just have to be very real about what you’re dealing with with the people around you, whether it’s even possible to have this conversation in a way that’s respectful and helpful,” she said when sharing how to can talk about politics in a healthy way.

And if you can’t have those conversations with people you care about, she said relying on a support system, even outside your family, can be very helpful in feeling safe and heard.

“Borders are at their core… they are not meant to keep people at a distance. They are intended to improve relationships and build a solid foundation,” said Duffy.

If you need additional help with mental health and relationships, please contact Ellie Mental Health to make an appointment here.