Dear Abby: I feel like God wants my ex and I to get back together

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced from my ex-husband, ‘Paul’, for twenty years. I have never remarried. The divorce was largely my fault because I was unfaithful. We never tried to save our marriage. He immediately started dating and remarried 18 months later. We have remained friends because we have four children and now grandchildren. I also get along well with his wife.

During the pandemic, I traveled across the country with an adult child. Paul and his wife followed us. We live about an hour apart. It turned out that three of our four children also came to live in our neighborhood.

Over the past two years I have come to realize that I miss Paul and that I hope we will be together again. (He doesn’t know this.) I have not disrespected his marriage or his current wife in any way.

They have a unique relationship as they often spend time apart and travel to see their families without each other. I think they also go on holiday separately every now and then. I know this isn’t necessarily a measure of their love or commitment, but my gut tells me this isn’t the marriage they want people to believe it is.

My gut also tells me that he might feel the same way I do. I often think he wishes he had done more to help save our marriage. Should I tell him how I feel? I am happy in my life, but I don’t want to regret not speaking if there is a chance that we can reunite and be the family I know God intended for us to be. Any advice? — REGRETS IN ALABAMA

BEST REGRETS: God, you must be having a selfish conversation with the God you should have talked to before you committed adultery and blew up your marriage. Although it may seem unusual to you, many couples visit their families separately, and some even take short vacations when their spouses are not interested.

Do yourself a favor and look for romance elsewhere. Your ex and his wife would really appreciate it if you did that. Please think about it before you embarrass yourself.