How to be a more charismatic person, according to science

Most importantly, says Dr. Jensen, you need to convey something that shows your core values. For example, his favorite thing to do is tell people that he moved from Europe to the US with nothing but a backpack. “Now here I am married to a wonderful woman, I have a son and I love my life,” he says. “I use it to illustrate something about me, which I think makes me a brave person.” Dr. Jensen notes that he will also try to inject some humor and vulnerability into the story, two things that can make a listener more invested in your story. For example, he’ll talk about how the air conditioning in his new hometown of Phoenix was broken upon arrival in 100-degree weather, and he’ll ask questions along the way (e.g., simple things like, “Guess what happened next”). ?”), while emphasizing the entertaining parts for dramatic effect.

Lean on the type of charisma that best suits your strengths.

Certainly, people who have je ne sais quoi naturally draws you in, but when you put two charming people in the same room, the way they behave will be a world of difference. “The question is what kind of charisma works best for you, your personality, your brain,” Olivia Fox Cabaneauthor of The charisma mythtells SELF. “It’s really a matter of finding the secret sauce of what’s going to happen You shine and understand that charisma is actually less about what people think of you and more about how you make them think of themselves.

She likes to divide a person’s charisma type into three categories: strength, warmth or presence. For example, she says, those who project power can likely take charge and quickly get a number of people out of a burning building if necessary. Individuals who lead with warmth, on the other hand, can be incredibly empathetic, Cabane adds, citing the Dalai Lama as an example. Someone who is truly present, she notes, will make a 30-second interaction feel deeply deep and meaningful. “Bill Clinton was famous for that,” she explains. “He would make you feel like you were the only person there.”

Here’s how you can know which group you fit into: “When you communicate with people, is it easy for you to stay focused on what they are saying during the conversation?” Cabane asks. “That’s a high presence, because most brains tend to wander from the conversation.” (So ​​in this case, it might be ideal to really delve into other people’s stories, rather than giving some of yours away.) If you’re someone who’s naturally confident, that’s power, says Cabane. If that seems like the right thing to do, you might *really* refine your personal story, as you’ll likely get people’s attention quickly. And “if you’re naturally compassionate and empathetic, that’s warmth,” she adds. For example, if you want to radiate that kind of charisma, you might identify sensitive parts in the conversation and respond with genuine emotion.

Make yourself more confident.

As Cabane explains, there are a few things you can do right before a meeting that will make you feel much better confidently– and that starts with how you dress. “Make sure you’re physically comfortable,” she tells SELF. “People respond to your body language first and your words second or third, so it’s important that you feel comfortable.”